Saints

I am a member of a church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I believe it is the ancient church of Christ restored in the latter days. We call ourselves Saints, which we aren’t, but we are striving to be the best we can through Christ. My heart is often turned to the Saints who helped establish this church. When my life is hard I think of them.

I think of when they left their homes and traveled thousands of miles in the snow with hand carts and frost biten feet. I think of the first responders and the love and service they rendered to each other. I think of how it must have felt to finally make it to Zion. And then to discover their trials were not over. The time they had to build and rebuild the foundation of a temple and sacrifice all of their possessions and time. Or the time they had a mass population of crickets devouring their field of crops that was their lifeline for Winter. How sorely disappointed they must felt when that big body of water was disgusting salt water or that the weather was less than ideal. Their test wasn’t over after crossing the plains. They were tested and tried again. Over and over. They were constantly reminded that they needed to lean on the Lord. That they did not travel alone nor should they ever.

Our lives are very similar to theirs. Just when I think I’ve arrived and I can take a deep breathe and relax I’m asked to do something, something hard. But every time I’ve trusted Him and every time He has provided the way. (It’s like Nephi says, “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”) And when He provides the way miracles can happen. And I have witnessed so many in my life.

Finding Help

My journey started when I was 15 years old. I was to the desperate point. I had called my mom crying. I remember it clearly. I told her I was done. She recognized it immediately. She called my Aunt and I was at a doctors office before anything else happened. My Aunt was there. I filled out a form and lost it. I couldn’t finish the form through the waterfall in my eyes. They were questions confirming my fear, depression. I didn’t want to have something wrong with my brain. How was this fair? What did I do to deserve this? The Doctor suggested something she thought may help, a medication. I didn’t want to have to take something to make my brain and my mind stop hurting. Why couldn’t I get better on my own? But I was vulnerable and desperate, so I tried it. And it helped. 

This was my first step towards healing, BEING VULNERABLE. Also, you don’t have to suffer alone, ASK FOR HELP. You may or may not need medication. Don’t be ashamed of depression or taking help meds. They saved my life. Medication can be a huge blessing when used properly and under a physicians care. What I didn’t realize then is so many of my friends were self medicating with other sources, the bad ones. Why did I feel so much guilt and shame for this? I shouldn’t have.

To anyone suffering, it’s hard in the moment to have the HOPE that someday you can feel better. HOPE is something you lose with depression and the thing you need the most. Try to have HOPE that you can feel better again. HOPE for the moments when the clouds are lifted. There is so much life to live and so many good moments to come but you just need a tiny amount of HOPE to get you there.

Be MINDFUL. This means paying attention and listening to what you are experiencing. Allow yourself to have your feelings. Even if they are caused by an imbalance in your brain. Don’t shut them up. Listen and then talk back to those feelings and thoughts. But be ok with the things you are experiencing. It’s ok to say “I’m having a bad day.” Everyone has bad days and everyone experiences horrible feelings, some are stronger than others. And then TALK ABOUT it. People can help you know if your thoughts are irrational. You may also find you are not alone with your feelings.

If you can find an interest or hobby that interests you, do it! It can be distracting and healing to find something you have passion for. I have someone I love who found her peaceful place in yoga. I find mine in walking an animal or playing soccer. Find your art or passion that allows you to “check out” in a productive and healthy way. 

I know when you are in horrible depression the last thing you want to hear is what you could do better or what you could do to get better. Depression isn’t something you deserve or a result of something you did. This is just a trial we get as part of being a human. More than anything else I’ve mentioned, the very most important thing I could ever share with anyone is that GOD LOVES YOU. He can help you through this and anything. He will send earthly angels and Heavenly ones in your darkest hours. You are also loved by countless others, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

BE VULNERABLE 

ASK FOR HELP

HAVE HOPE

BE MINDFUL

FIND A PASSION 

REMEMBER YOU ARE LOVED